So, How Did My Valentines go?

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Dear Blogville, its been too long! Blame it on my hot wild romance with my Billionaire Boyfriend who is Half British and Half Dominican with Blue eyes and curly hair......who loves to stay in bed all day with me eating frozen grapes and watching "Orange is the new Black".... and then fly out in his Heli to watch the sunset... But then,those would be Lies... and liars shall perish in hell... so why don't i just tell y'all The Honest truth. The Truth is I've been too busy, i sometimes forget i have a blog. So no, i haven't been frolicking with some rich, arrogant sod with curly hair. The struggle is real out there ladies and gentlemen, But we'll definitely survive. How's Y'all been?

Shout out to the winches and wizards on my BBM tho. This special lot are super skilled in reading my Blog but NEVER commenting.  About four of 'em even had the effrontery to ask me on Valentines Night "Ahn Ahn Funmi, we've not read from you in a while? Kilode?? Really? (lemme just keep mute) But diaris God o!  Oh,and yes, the cheapskates that call themselves my friends couldn't even get me a Tom Ford Perfume? I mean is that too much to ask??? All i hear is "I will always love you, valentine or not" shioo

So, Classes were postponed on Valentines day therefore i was stuck at home; Cleaning, and Washing... My Mother, who has almost turned me into her house girl was mighty glad.. I think at some point, i was doing the dishes and singing kumbaya ... but alas! I have to do her bidding,else i find my things in a Cabin biscuit carton..

OK, yeah, what else happened?? Yeah! I had this chat with my friend Vic who recently got out of  a relationship. we had one of our regular chats that Night and he kinda inspired this post.. Shoutout to Ogbeni Vic

Vic: Valentina... How did your day go?
Me: I was washing and cleaning
Vic: I spent my val with my ex.....box 360
Me: Hehehehehehe
Vic: Mehn, to be single na bad tin o... choi
Me: lol. I've been single for years now. It feels i'm in a relationship with myself
Vic:  *rotflmao*... You don't wanna step into a relationship?.... Prolly you're setting high standards
Me: Haha...High standards sha?.... The first thing with me is can i be with you and not get bored?
Vic: Bae, downgrade your upgrade to upgrade your downgrade
Me: LOL
Vic: Hmmm
Me; Ok sir..
Vic: See the thing is because you're plus size,guys go dey fear to even approach you say you fit snub them.
Me; LOL.. I've had that
Vic: A very pretty friend of mine married one guy like that...i just shake head after the discussion.. the babe say guys dey fear to approach her and na the only guy man up to tell her and she had to accept
Me: Hmmm
Vic: There's never a perfect fit.... A little bit of ground shifting
Me: OK
Vic: So bae pls, loosen up and dont date yourself... You'retoo cute for that
Me: LOL.OK...
(The Rest of the convo ko kan aye)

Lemme address the size issue as said by Ashleigh Shackelford. I really don't have to prove my worth by being a visibly polite person in order to counteract the abrasiveness of having a plus size body. I don't have to be pretty or wear cute clothes in order for people to accept me as a plus size lady. I don't have to present myself in a socially acceptable manner. I don't have to shrink or apologize for taking space. I don't have to explain how i got fat in order demonizing weight gain.. i don't have to explain to you if i'm healthy or not..

People expect you to be polite cos you're plus size? I mean, the fuck is that? Do you get to apologize to society for having a terrible attitude and a fugly face to go with it??
See ehn, its not like one doesn't want to be in a relationship,its just that where does one meet a witty, funny,great kisser who watches cartoons, loves intelligent series, has a mind of his own, doesn't conform to social norms, has a True sense of self,doesn't gossip and does all his guy stuff, loves to read books and yeah,knows when to give you your space. *sigh* (Are we asking for too much)

Wo, see y'all later Jare.. I'm tired and i need to join the crazy gidi traffic..

Oh, and by the way.. My sis of Eternity got me 'em shoes for val..

Happy Feet!



By The way, Ogbeni Cupid je ki ori e pe next year sho gbo? 

Comments

  1. Anonymous21 February 2015 at 00:28

    Love this post me wench! That last bit was cwaiizee ass cherry on top ;) nailed it! much love to ya hun! :*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funmi Agbana3 March 2015 at 12:35

      Thanks Darling.. This is Kachi right? The only person Bold enough to call me wench on Social Media..

      Delete
  2. Anonymous3 March 2015 at 12:32

    love your post its not everyday we get to read post that are truly insightful u are a prolific writer and i commend you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funmi Agbana3 March 2015 at 12:37

      Thank you Anonymous12:32 I'm truly Honoured! Thanks for stopping by

      Delete
  3. HACKANGEL3 March 2015 at 14:33

    " I don't have to shrink or apologize for taking space" - what if we are in a bus and u are encroaching on my space LOLZZZZZZ

    ReplyDelete
  4. pupstar13 August 2015 at 20:38

    Hnmmm....what do we say to this now?!!!

    ReplyDelete

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