QLC!!!!

Imagine my surprise when i found out it actually had a name! Its called the Quarter Life Crisis!!! So, In the past year and half, I've been having (and still experiencing some) certain symptoms that i just couldn't explain. Sometimes,i would sit on the toilet seat and cry and then later muster the strength to say a short "Take control Lord" What was happening to me? I was having a confusion of Identity, Insecurity regarding the near future,I was getting bored with social interactions. Most of the time i had financially rooted stress, insecurity regarding present accomplishments, indecision paralyzed me, I lost concentration that it sometimes felt like i couldn't hold or contribute to a seemingly intelligent conversation, I was nostalgic for my high school and University days where i thought i had life all figured out. I felt like slapping my 17 year old self for making me think life was just perfect. I even went as far as googling myself hoping it would yield better results and i'd be fine.(Petty isn't it? lol)

I asked myself almost everyday "When is Life finally gonna feel like its supposed to"? I found myself repelled and compelled by Church at the same darn time! I asked God for help one day and I was yelling at him the next and somehow, it seemed like my faith was a roller coaster. Shopping(Which is therapeutic for me), doing the dishes, making dinner became Debilitating! I mean, filling out an application, calling my best friend back or just even touching the phone was DEBILI- FRICKING-TATING!!!

A "quarter life crisis" can be defined as feelings of  confusion, anxiety, self doubt and low self esteem combined with an external and internal pressure to grow up and get your life in order.  A quarter life crisis can affect young adults anywhere between 18 and 35, often after graduating college or university.  Part of us wants to avoid adulthood and the responsibility that comes with it and go out and party, yet another part of us might yearn for a great job, a great relationship and a great life by conventional standards.

OK, here's what i think. This really is the best time in your life to be having this crisis.  Better now than when you are in your 40’s or 50’s, when you should be having the Midlife crisis (Oh, there's that too! It never ends you see!!)  Your 20’s really are the best time to explore all possibilities, try different things, meet interesting people, develop your social skills, explore the full spectrum of your emotions, learn to live on a budget,  make the odd wrong decisions and ultimately, discover who you really are. 

Now, you're probably saying "oh, i relate well enough with this, but how do i overcome this crisis?" I'll share a few tips with you that worked for me and hopefully will work for you too.

1. Remember that life isn't a race: Try not to compare yourself to other people. What other people are doing with their lives, no matter how ideal it may seem from the outside looking in, would not be right for you. You are your own unique person, enjoy your individuality. If you want a way to measure how your life is developing, only compare yourself to you, two to six month ago.
2. Muster up the courage to redefine yourself: Adulthood means finding your identity. Put a set amount of time aside and set yourself a personal goal. Choose a specific amount of time and don’t go over it. Perhaps start of with an hour, and use it to think of one thing you could do which will move you one step forward in one area of your life.  For now, don’t look further than a couple of weeks ahead and make sure that whatever you decide to focus on follows a simple goal setting structure. Try the SMART model and make sure that your goal is: S=Specific, M=Measurable, A=Attainable, R= Realistic, T=Time framed.  Focus on doing one thing at a time. Celebrate every victory and use the positive energy to inspire you to set and achieve your next goal. 
3. LAUGH!!!: This is one strategy that worked well for me. I surrounded (and still surround) myself with people that make me laugh. People with a good sense of Humor are easy to talk to and just make you forget about all your underachievement and worries. Laughter is good for your soul. It helps reduce stress so you can put things in perspective. It’s amazing how a bit of humor can diffuse the heaviest of atmospheres. It is an instant mood changer – even if you’re not in the mood for laughter, laughter can put you in a the right mood. Laughter clears the mind. When you lighten your mood you naturally become more resourceful and creative and better able to cope with the challenges of life. When was the last time you laughed? What kind of things make you laugh? Who makes you laugh? Go out of your way to find something to laugh about everyday… soon you might even be laughing at this crisis you’re having.
4. Find a healthy way to release some pressure, which in my experience, is rarely achieved by consuming unhealthy foods, alcohol or by any other stimulant.  These can often make your problems seem more complicated and are best limited during transitional times when you seek clarity of thought. Try healthier forms of relaxation such as yoga, meditation, swimming, walking, writing, drawing, painting, music or reading.
5. Loosen your expectations and find comfort in the fact that you're not alone.: Even your friends who slipped right from the university into seemed wedded bliss and cushy jobs are feeling some pangs of uneasiness that you might be feeling.Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe and make you feel open in a cathartic way. Personally, finding that person i can share my struggles with has helped me immensely in my twenties.. There's absolutely nothing more valuable than a friend to whom you can say, "Hey, my life is shitty right now and hear back, "Me too! Let's talk about it".
6. Finally and Most importantly, tell it all to God! He knows what you're going through as he's your Father but he wants you to come boldly before him to talk about it and he'll see you through. One of my favorite songs and Bible verses Pro 3:5-6 (KJV) says "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on thine own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thine part" (You should also try reading the Message Bible version. It further simplifies it)

The QLC Stage is the time to let go of your expectations of what adulthood should be. Putting too much stress on preconceived ideas of what adulthood will be is a surefire way to tank all your optimism and hope. Life is too short to daydream it away wishing you had someone else's life.