Wasup down there???

Do you guys know of "The Vagina song" by Weird Al Yankovic? I first heard it from my sick friend, Ukachi during our pre-degree days.You can listen to it here . That song comes to mind as i write this. Anyways, that's by the way. It isn't the crux of this blog post.

So yesterday, the loonies i work with were talking about the poochie, its size, strength, depth and of course, smell! As usual, the guys gave several hilarious stories from how they've had to turn down a girl they'd been chasing for months, the moment she dropped her panties to the one who had so much space going on in her "Jerusalem" they could conveniently pack a minivan there.

Now imagine a meal prepared for you to eat, neatly served with the best porcelain. Some caviar shit! You uncover the dish and a stench worse than ammonia hits you! That motherfucker is on some asthma shit. Its about to take your breath away. Not today satan! That is exactly what it is when your outfit and appearance is on some ivy league shit but your poochie screams igboelerin

By the way, while some are benevolent enough to give and not bother receiving, I'm a staunch believer in the give and it shall (or in this case, MUST) be given unto you rule.. Can i get a witness?

Again, i digress.. I apologise

Anyways, i thought to share a few personal tips on how i take care of the box with you guys. You don't have to follow every tip verbatim.. Just, whatever works for you.. deal?

• Wear cotton panties.. Quit choking that punk and let the poochie breathe. Or simply go commando.. That is, no panties at all.
• Load up on pineapples, oranges and lemon. They make the vajizzle juice smell and taste yum... *chews pineapple*
• Do your Kegel exercise.. *Google is everybody's friend*
• And for the love of God, please, shave! Do you want to grow corn there? Give that baby the world's famous haircut like Delilah did Samson!
• Use water every time you use the toilet. Wipes are better than tissues though
• When in the shower, take a squat and wash that pink little motherfucker like your life depended on it... *Well, because it does actually*
• Once a week, get some fresh yoghurt to wash the jizzle. You can also drink the leftover. It's good for you! 
• I sometimes forget to do this regularly but it is equally a great tip. Peel a medium sized garlic, and place it in the vagina for 2hours.. It helps keep away bacterial infection and odour
• Change your sanitary pads and tampons during your menstrual flow and use panty liners during ovulation.

What other tips are you familiar with? Pray, tell!